Step Up: How Shifting from Self-Serving to Selfless Leadership Elevates Your Impact

Leadership is not about a title—it’s about impact. The first step in the Leadership Dance is Step Up, and it calls us to make a critical shift: from being self-serving to being selfless. This step is the foundation for becoming a leader who uplifts, empowers, and inspires growth in others.

When you learn to Step Up, you position yourself not only as a leader but as a catalyst. You set the tone for the culture around you. And you begin to recognize that true leadership is about more than your own success—it’s about creating success for those you serve.

A Family of Educators: My Foundation

I grew up surrounded by educators. My grandmother was an English teacher, my mother was a teacher, and many of my family members followed the same path. Education was in our DNA.

As a child, I spent afternoons, weekends, and even sick days in my mom’s classroom. I can still hear the clacking of her typewriter as she created tests, the whirring of the mimeograph machine, and the unmistakable smell of purple ink from freshly printed worksheets. Those experiences gave me an early respect for the quiet dedication of teachers—their hours of preparation, their creativity, and their commitment to their students.

My grandmother was equally devoted. She loved the written word, and when I mailed her letters, she sent them back—corrected in red pen! At the time I rolled my eyes, but looking back, I smile at her persistence. She wanted me to grow, to refine my skills, and to see potential where I only saw mistakes. That was her way of leading with love and service.

These women were not in leadership positions by title, but their lives demonstrated what leadership looks like when it’s selfless: creating opportunities for growth in others.

Leadership Beyond the Title

When I became a community college faculty member and later an administrator, I quickly realized that some of the best leaders I knew didn’t have formal titles.

Many faculty members undervalued their leadership because they didn’t see themselves as “leaders.” But here’s the truth:

• Every time you walk into your classroom, you are leading.

• Every time you meet with a student, you are leading.

• Every time you create opportunities for learning, you are leading.

Leadership is not confined to a corner office. It’s expressed in the ripple effects of your influence—how you guide, inspire, and challenge others.

I often say on my podcast, Empowering Women in Educational Leadership, “Leadership isn’t about the title on your door. It’s about the lives you touch.” And when you embrace this truth, you step into a selfless kind of leadership that leaves a legacy.

Roses, Thorns, and Leadership Lessons

I still remember my seventh-grade math class. On one hand, there was Ms. Thorn. She was sharp, distant, and left me feeling discouraged and small. On the other hand, there was Ms. Bloom, a mentor who nurtured my curiosity and reminded me of my potential. And in the background, always cheering, was my mom—my muse—who pushed me to grow with kindness, encouragement, and high expectations.

This mix of experiences taught me something powerful: leaders are remembered for how they make others feel. They either plant thorns of discouragement or blooms of possibility.

Take a moment and ask yourself:

• Who is the teacher or leader you still remember to this day—good or bad?

• What made their impact unforgettable?

Chances are, it wasn’t the lesson plan, the policy, or the procedures. It was how they connected with you—or how they failed to.

That’s the mirror of leadership: how you show up shapes how others see themselves.

The Cost of Self-Serving Leadership

When leaders lose sight of their purpose and focus more on their own advancement, the cost is high:

• For students: disengagement, lack of trust, and sometimes dropping out altogether.

• For faculty and staff: low morale, burnout, and disconnection from their calling.

• For institutions: lower retention rates, declining graduation numbers, and financial losses.

Every missed opportunity to serve others is more than a number in a report—it’s a lost chance to change a life.

Self-serving leadership may feel efficient in the short term, but in the long run it erodes trust, influence, and impact. In contrast, selfless leadership creates environments where people thrive—and when people thrive, organizations flourish.

The Epiphany: Leadership as a Dance

Through my journey as a faculty member and administrator, I discovered that leadership is like a dance. You are the choreographer—deciding the next move, guiding the rhythm, and helping others find their steps.

The Leadership Dance Framework includes nine steps, grouped into three phases: Reflect, Strengthen, and Elevate.

• Reflect: The foundation. This is where you pause, look inward, and consider your “why.”

• Strengthen: The building phase. Here you align your purpose, refine your skills, and fortify your foundation.

• Elevate: The growth phase. Now you step outward, empowering others, creating collaboration, and leading with boldness.

The very first step is Step Up—to make that pivotal shift from self-serving to selfless. When you lead with service at the forefront, you not only build trust but also create lasting impact.

The Mirror of Leadership

Imagine leadership on an XY axis:

• X-axis: Self-Serving → Selfless

• Y-axis: Bad Leadership → Good Leadership

Where do you fall?

• Self-Serving Leadership focuses on personal gain, power, and recognition. It’s about protecting your own interests—even at the expense of others.

• Selfless Leadership prioritizes the needs, growth, and well-being of others. It’s about creating opportunities, removing barriers, and celebrating shared success.

The most effective leaders live in the top-right quadrant—good and selfless—because they balance vision and action with humility and service.

This is not about ignoring your goals—it’s about aligning them with something greater than yourself.

Practicing Selfless Leadership

So how do you Step Up into selfless leadership? Here are four practices to help you embody this shift:

• Lead with Curiosity. Inspired by Neil deGrasse Tyson, remember that curiosity keeps us learning and growing. Ask questions, listen deeply, and seek to understand others before seeking to be understood.

• Serve First, Lead Second. Approach leadership with the mindset of service. Before making decisions, ask: How will this benefit those I serve?

• Reflect Daily. Take time to pause and examine your motivations. Are you choosing convenience over connection? Are you prioritizing recognition over results? Reflection helps you re-align your leadership with service.

• Celebrate Others. Selfless leaders shine the spotlight on others. They celebrate team wins, recognize contributions, and lift up voices that might otherwise go unheard.

Reflection Prompts for Stepping Up

To help you put this into practice, here are some reflection prompts you can use:

• What drives my leadership decisions—service to others or self-protection?

• Who is one person I can intentionally serve this week without expecting anything in return?

• How do I want people to describe their experience under my leadership?

The Call to Step Up

When you choose selfless leadership, you build trust, connection, and influence. You help others discover their own potential, and in doing so, you expand your impact far beyond what you could accomplish alone.

So, I ask you:

• Are you ready to step up?

• Are you ready to shift from self-serving to selfless?

• Are you ready to start leading with purpose, service, and impact?

When you Step Up, you don’t just elevate your own leadership—you create the conditions for everyone around you to thrive. And that’s where transformation truly begins.

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✨ Leadership is a dance. Step Up is your first move. Are you ready to take it?

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